HHS Secretary RFK Jr To Launch Podcast Like Joe Rogan but With Fewer Vaccines and More Dead Bears

Public health, rebranded as a late-night campfire story told by your most concerning uncle.

News Report on Bear Attack Interrupted by Bear

She continued the story, proving she was no cub reporter.

Polar Bear Plunge Record Frozen While Recount Happens

Anyone waiting for the verified results will just have to chill... again.

Bear, Care Bears Found Wandering In Parade, Hotel

A bear without a care in the world, and two that seemed to care about getting arrested, are in the news.

AI Teddy Bears Extremely Unsafe For Kids, And Possibly Adults 

Finally, a teddy bear that can both mispronounce “Snuggle” and ruin your will to parent.

Buff Bears Break Into Colorado Gym, Drink Protein Shakes

Yeah, I'm into fitness... fitness whole protein shake down my gullet!

StudioCanal Sues Spitting Image Over Cocaine Bear Parody

Says the sketch tarnished a “symbol of British decency.” Which is rich, considering the last time Britain protected Peruvian exports, it involved the Falklands. 

Incessant Honking Leads Cops to Two Bears Locked Inside Car

(But not the kind of bears you were expecting)

Burglar Bear’s Day Ruined by Tiny, Screaming Cotton Ball of Destruction With Nothing To Lose

Goldilocks gets some sweet revenge when a bear eats HER dinner.

Residents Unharmed After Four Bears Crash Through Basement Door

Local man claims it’s the most visitors he’s had since 2019.