Florida Man Banned From Every Waffle House in Florida. Bonus: He’s Running for Governor

Man running to lead Florida ceremonially banned from an institution that metaphorically represents it.

Harvard’s Space Fraud Avi Loeb Says Space Rock Is Definitely Aliens This Time

Provides zero evidence as usual.

Mysterious ‘Predator’ Stalking Villagers Around Dartmoor Unmasked as Chonky Cat

Beast of Dartmoor identified as Garfield’s British cousin on an unhealthy diet of fish 'n' chips.

Cryptozoologist Claims Deep, Rhythmic Noises Prove Loch Ness Monster Exists

"Your Mom" joke goes here...

Police Say Driver Without License Went 124 mph at 3 a.m. Because He Needed To Use the Bathroom

In related news, this Florida Man’s Camry is now ranked #3 in Daytona qualifying.

Nessie Emerges Again, Immediately Demands Everyone Stop Calling Her “As Big as Three Men”

Another blurry Loch Ness video drops, once again confirming Scotland has invented whisky but not autofocus.

The Surprise Baby Who Burned at Burning Man

No babies were actually harmed in the writing of this article. That we know of.

Man Captures New Bigfoot Video Using a 2003 Motorola Razr He Keeps in a Sock Drawer “For Emergencies”

Somebody give these cryptid hunters better damn cameras!

Loch Ness Sighting Sparks Global Curiosity, Renewed Monster Tourism, and Exactly Zero Scientific Evidence

But hey, the gift shop’s doing great.