Elon Musk’s AI Declares Him Sexier Than Brad Pitt, More Athletic Than Lebron James, MechaHitler

Grok’s devotion levels now measurable only in dog years and delusion.

Cards Against Humanity Takes on Elon Musk, and You Could Get Paid

The wonderfully raunchy party game Cards Against Humanity is suing Elon Musk, and you might just get $100.

Albania’s AI Minister “Pregnant” With 83 Children

Experts warn that Skynet starts with maternity leave.

Human Red Flag Claims That His Cybertruck Is Repulsive to Women

Sure, that’s the problem.

StudioCanal Sues Spitting Image Over Cocaine Bear Parody

Says the sketch tarnished a “symbol of British decency.” Which is rich, considering the last time Britain protected Peruvian exports, it involved the Falklands. 

On Earth, It’s Called “Prison Food.” In Orbit, It’s “Omakase by Kraft Singles”

Proof that even in space, dads will still try to make sushi with hot dogs.

Pope Warns Against Greed, Pauses To Adjust Cushions on His Throne Made of Solid Gold

Turning water into wine since 33 A.D., but still charging corkage.

Is That a Turtle on Mars? No.

It's a rock. Obviously. And no, not Dwayne 'The Turtle' Johnson. Just a rock.

Russian Summer Camp: Now With 63% More Grenades and 100% Less Fun

Summer fun now available in AK-47, camo, and mild PTSD.

“Evangelicals” Launch War on Empathy 

Move over, gay frogs, the newest threat to Western civilization is... empathy?