These are regular jeans with no stains on them… yet (Fahad Faisal/Wikimedia Commons)
Disclaimer: While this article is flushed with facts, it’s slightly stained with satire.
How much would you pay for a pair of jeans? Sure, it’s easy to roll down to an outlet mall and pick up a pair of utilitarian denim pants, but you’re not going to get any comments about them, aside from “I see you’ve finally decided to start wearing pants again after that talk from HR.”
Also, you’ve come to Odd News Show for odd news, not “sensible and affordable pants” news. So if you want to make a statement with your fashion and that statement is “I just dropped $800 bucks on a pair of jeans that makes it look like I’ve peed myself,” then Italian/British designer Jordanluca’s got you covered… in faux urine. They’re selling jeans that come with a crotch stain that says fashion, but make it pee.
The jeans, which the NY Post reports debuted last year on the Fall/Winter runway, cost $811, so perhaps the stain is partially just due to sticker shock. The bad news is that the pants, which Jordanluca is calling “stain stonewashed jeans” and we’ll call “really, really distressed jeans,” have already sold out.
However, the silver lining, or yellow lining, if you will, is that if you’ve still got a hankering for a pair, a lighter version of them is still available. The site says the jeans “feature a stonewash stain on the crotch and the Demonology horn detail embroidered on each back pocket, making them the ultimate JORDANLUCA denim piece.” Is that really the ultimate denim piece? Depends.
Online feedback has not been kind to the design, with someone asking “Why would you wear these?” Luckily, we’re here to answer that question, even if you can’t buy the original dark color with a more pronounced stain:
You don’t want to go to all the trouble of actually peeing your pants
You actually pee yourself all the time, but now you can say, “What do you mean? I paid $800 for these” as a cover-up. Instead of the laughingstock of the neighborhood, suddenly you’re a hype beast – and the laughingstock of the neighborhood for a different reason
Perfect excuse for leaving wherever you are, just get up abruptly and nervously point to your pre-made stain
You’re wearing them so that people will pay attention to the fake stain on your crotch, as opposed to the real one around back.
Considering all of the publicity the company is getting from this already sold-out design, they’ve likely decided to keep tinkling, er, tinkering, with the idea while inspiring other designers to do the same. So the number one upcoming fashion trend might be more number one. The good news is, if you do go to that outlet mall and pick up a pair of boring old cheap jeans, you can pretty easily replicate the Jordanluca design and all it takes is bad bladder control.
