Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
The Internal Revenue Service confirmed Monday that tax auditors will soon be required to view content on OnlyFans and similar platforms to determine whether “just the tips” qualify for the newly passed “no tax on tips” deduction. The issue stems from language in the “One Big Beautiful Bill” Act that excludes tips earned through prostitution or “pornographic activity” from the deduction, without defining what pornographic activity actually means.
There was no comment on whether they would be using magnifying glasses. (postmodernstudio/depositphotos)
The IRS has yet to issue guidance on the matter, leaving agency officials in the same philosophical quandary as Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, who famously defined obscenity in 1964 by saying, “I know it when I see it.” Agency sources say the approach remains legally sound, provided agents are willing to see quite a lot of it. And boy are they.
Nearly five million creator accounts exist on OnlyFans, though the exact number subject to U.S. tax law remains unclear. Not all accounts feature sexual or pornographic content, according to the Times, which noted that “plenty of activity” could be argued as “merely titillating” rather than “explicitly pornographic.” Betting markets currently predict the phrase “merely titillating” will appear in at least 40,000 audit reports this year, most of them written by agents who’ve stopped making eye contact with their spouses.
The legislation also left ambiguous whether strippers can claim the tips deduction, since exotic dancing occupies what can be described as “a gray area, assuming adequate lighting.” The IRS declined to comment on whether pole fitness instructors, burlesque performers, or anyone who’s ever done the Macarena in a revealing muppet costume would face similar scrutiny.
Thomas Gronkowski, a tax preparer and educator, explained the enforcement mechanism with the enthusiasm of someone describing a root canal. “Ultimately, it would be the subjective determination of an IRS examiner or a Tax Court judge,” he said. “Sometimes you look at something and it’s clearly pornography, but sometimes you look at something and you think, ‘Eh, it’s subjective, but somebody somewhere might be really into it.'”
IRS agents auditing OnlyFans creators will need to view the content in question, determine whether it qualifies as pornographic under criteria that don’t exist, and then deny the tip deduction, which is capped at $25,000. The process is expected to take several hours per case, though the agency projects agents will become more efficient once they’ve established their own personal benchmarks for what constitutes obscenity.
Tax Court judges will serve as the final arbiters in disputed cases, reviewing content to determine whether it crosses the threshold from “merely titillating” to “pornographic activity.” The Treasury Department has reportedly begun drafting training materials, which sources describe as “comprehensive” and “deeply uncomfortable for everyone involved.”
The IRS did not respond to questions about whether agents would receive hazard pay, though the agency’s employee assistance program has quietly expanded its counseling services. Several agents speaking on condition of anonymity said they’d joined the IRS to process tax returns, not to become pornography critics with subpoena power. Although a sizable minority of them were also OK with the development.
I'm sure he'll be back soon, probably just gone to 'freshen up'. (AndreyPopov/depositphotos)
The provision takes effect next tax year, assuming the IRS can finalize its definition of pornography before then. Agency officials say they’re consulting legal scholars, content moderation experts, and anyone who’s ever worked in customer service at a video rental store in the late 1980s. Early drafts reportedly include the phrase “you’ll know it when you see it” seven times, which legal experts describe as “not technically unconstitutional, just profoundly unhelpful.”
Meanwhile, OnlyFans creators have begun seeking clarification on whether cooking videos, fitness content, or ASMR performances could trigger audits. The IRS responded that it would “evaluate each case individually,” which tax attorneys interpret as “we have absolutely no idea either.”
Tax experts predict the policy will generate thousands of appeals, most of them hinging on whether specific acts, outfits, or camera angles cross the legal threshold into pornography. One former IRS attorney called it “the most subjectively enforced tax provision in history,” then added, “and that includes the home office deduction.”
The Treasury Department said it remains committed to fair and consistent enforcement, though officials acknowledged the challenge of maintaining consistency when the legal standard is essentially “vibes.” The agency is expected to issue formal guidance sometime next year, assuming anyone can agree on what belongs in it.
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