Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Some town names are just asking for it. How could you name your town Intercourse (PA) and not expect it to be the butt of multiple sex jokes? Speaking of butts, Butte (MT) sounds kind of like “butt,” and we’re most likely not the first to notice. There’s also Hooker (OK), which might or might not have any hookers in it. And towns with odd food names are a dime a dozen, like Sandwich (IL), Ketchuptown (SC), and even one that combines food and sex (kinda), Wiener (AR). All of those cities/towns/communities sound like a fun road trip to take, just to snap a pic of the town sign. Which brings us to Bug Tussle, TX, where there’s actually a big tussle going on over street signs.
They did come back. About 69 times. (kltv_7/youtube)
While everything’s bigger in Texas – according to legend and your ex-girlfriend – that doesn’t apply to Bug Tussle, which has a population of 15. You’d probably think such a small town wouldn’t even have any roads, let alone road signs. And until recently, you were wrong. That’s because the Department of Transportation has decided to put an end to sending the town road signs. Was this because they thought “Bug Tussle” was a ridiculous name for a town? Probably, but also because street signs that said “Bug Tussle” kept getting stolen.
In fact, over 70 street signs have been re-appropriated over the years, which is nearly five signs per resident. “People keep stealing them,” Deborah Stout, or 1/15th of the town, stated. “People just like the name Bug Tussle, and they steal the signs.” An unincorporated town about 45 miles north of Sulphur Springs, the town was initially known as Truss, and how it got its current name is about as mysterious as who has stolen so many of its signs.
Every day they're tusslin'. (Dr Mary Gillham Archive Project/Creative Commons)
The report on the sign theft suggests several origin stories. One involved an ice cream social that became significantly less social after a swarm of insects decided they liked ice cream, too. Another was that two men were wondering what to name the town when they were distracted by two beetles fighting, which means that it’s a good thing they didn’t see two dogs mating instead.
The third suggestion was offered by Don Stout, Deborah’s husband, and another fifteenth of the town. “A gentleman was traveling through, a salesman. He said, ‘Well, what do y’all do when nothing’s going on?’ One man said, ‘When we’re not doing anything else, we watch the bugs tussle,'” he said.
Either way, you’re probably not going to know if you’re in Bug Tussle if you’re going by road signs alone. However, the news report on the town shows a large sign welcoming people to Bug Tussle. And given that it also says “Y’all come back now, ya hear?” suggests that the sign thieves took that literally. Also, while it’s uncertain whether the stolen street signs said the same thing, it’s hard to imagine who wouldn’t want to steal a sign that said so.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
