‘ChiefsAholic’ Faces Up to 350 Wolf-Years In Prison For String of Bank Robberies

Let’s face it, ChiefsAholism seems fun at first glance. A guy dresses up as a wolf and goes to games attended by both Taylor Swift and her boyfriend (who annoyingly worked the whole time.) He dances like he is fully aware that everyone is watching… and he enjoys it. Part of us wants to be him. Fans of the 80s will recall that Michael J. Fox made an entire film about what that man’s life was probably like as a teenager. And not unlike the sequel to the movie Teenwolf, the ChiefsAholic wolf guy also turned out to be an entirely different person.

It turns out, ChiefsAholism is a serious condition – an abstract one that resides in the world of fantasy football and hour-long sports bar debates about who would win in a contest where the mascots were actual creatures (could an actual Chief from Kansas City subdue an actual Chicago Bear? We’ll never know.) And in some cases, Chiefsaholism can have collateral damage.  

In the case of Xavier Babudar, 29, the hidden victims of his ChiefsAholism were banks. Babudar, it turns out, was not just any old average wolf-dressing football dance machine. Xavier Babudar had a dark side. Babudar was a bank robber. 

This week, Babudar pleaded guilty to one count of bank robbery, one count of money laundering, one count of transporting stolen property across state lines, and infinity counts of not being cool anymore. He was accused of stealing more than $800,000 in  11 robberies, then laundering the stolen money at casinos. “His violent crime spree across the Midwest and beyond traumatized bank employees and victimized financial institutions in seven states,” U.S. Attorney Teresa Moore said in a statement. What she didn’t say, is who she rooted for in the big game, which, if it was the 49ers, could be grounds for appeal.

The ChiefsAholic’s charges carry a maximum sentence of up to 50 years in prison which will definitely seem harsher when he translates those into wolf years. He has also been ordered to pay at least $532,675 in restitution. That means that he stole almost $270,000 that the banks will never get back. Sure, they’ll develop newer, more hidden fees to recoup that money somehow, but in doing so, they’ll also run the risk of alienating their fan base, and that money will be taken from resources that would otherwise have gone to fund their executive pension plan. How is that fair?  

So don’t be fooled by the seeming wholesomeness of a man dressed as an animal, dancing in service of his favorite sports team and calling himself a ChiefsAholic. Sometimes people get hurt. And this time, that person was a bank.