Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
COPENHAGEN, Denmark — Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen ended her speech to parliament by telling the chamber that the passage she had just read aloud had been written by ChatGPT. Which was convenient because no one had been listening to what she had been saying, either. This encapsulates the perfect use case for AI: writing speeches no one wants to write that also no one wants to hear.
The Danish PMGPT. (Wlad_Mus/depositphotos)
“Both fascinating and terrifying,” Frederiksen called it, although objectively it was neither. She had ChatGPT finish in her own voice, in the first person. “I am proud of what we have achieved together,” ChatGPT wrote, apparently proud of a year of the Danish government, a country it has never visited, on behalf of a “together” that did not actually involve the Prime Minister. Even the boasting was boring.
The speech contained bangers such as “It has been an honour and a challenge to lead a broad government in the last parliamentary year,” and “We have worked hard to co-operate across parties and ensure a strong and sustainable future for Denmark.” Kill me now.
Earlier in the week, a group of industry chiefs, including Sam Altman, released a statement ranking artificial intelligence with pandemics and nuclear war as a threat to eventual human extinction. Two days later, AI gave its first address to a national parliament and tried to kill everyone in the room by boring them to death. As of press time, the Danish government had not confirmed anyone had been killed by the speech, however several MPs failed to wake up immediately after it concluded.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
