…Quietly retiring the notion that words must be letters.
Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
(depositphotos)
Millennials describe 67 as “brainrot slang”, which generally means “we saw this on TikTok and apparently this is happening.” The entry traces its modern life to music, basketball, and pure peer pressure, the holy trinity of modern etymology. Specifically, Skrilla’s 2024 track “Doot Doot (6 7),” a LaMelo Ball height joke, and a youth-league legend known only as “The 67 Kid,” who shouted it during a basketball game like punctuation that had just learned to dunk. And if that makes no sense to you, congratulations, you get it.
“It’s part inside joke, part social signal, and wholly the equivalent of a low-battery notification for meaning,” said Steve Johnson, Ph.D., director of lexicography for the Dictionary Media Group at IXL Learning, which is not a cult but does promote the addition of new vowels. “When people say 67, they’re not just repeating a meme; they’re shouting a feeling.” Johnson added that 67 is unusual because it functions as an interjection, an energy burst, and a way to avoid finishing a sentence without ever technically starting one.
I ran this explanation by my resident Gen Z daughter, who said Johnson’s explanation was “stupid” and “it’s not that deep”.
Usage appeared six times more in October than in all of 2024, which is apparently a normal sentence now. Dictionary.com says that makes 67 a case study in how a rising generation can rocket a word into the cockpit of global conversation and then refuse to explain what any of the buttons do. In related news, finalists included “agnetic,” “aura farming,” “Gen Z stare,” “overtourism,” “tariff,” and “tradwife,” a list that reads like the world’s worst tasting menu.
You can't spell "dictionary.com" without "67". Oh, wait, you can spell ANY word without "67". (dictionary.com)
Critics complained that choosing 67 was a deliberate shot across the bow of anyone born between affordable rent and student debt forgiveness (Millennials). Dictionary.com declined to confirm this, but did not deny calibrating the 2025 selection to annoy millennials by precisely 2. In related news, Boomers, for some reason, keep mixing up 67 with 69, and we are sending this entire paragraph to HR for safe-keeping.
Inexplicably, whenever “Coolest Generation” GenX hears “67” they yell out “89”, which results in high fives from Zoomers for also making no sense whatsoever.
A subcommittee will now determine when 67 is appropriate in formal writing. Early drafts allow it after a semicolon, before a flight delay, and anywhere a press release needs to admit nothing while sounding caffeinated. The panel also tabled a motion to define 67 as “so-so but louder,” pending procurement of additional vibes.
The site emphasized that 67 should be said “six-seven,” never “sixty-seven,” unless someone actually turns 67, at which point it becomes “young at heart” and eligible for AARP discounts.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
