We May Have a Problem (Unsplash/Skyler Gerald)
On St. Patrick’s Day, we celebrate the American version of the Irish holiday of the British born saint, so is it any wonder that this historic game of telephone has gotten a little out of hand. Nothing wrong with celebrating – that’s what we do best. But before the celebration goes off the rails, it’s good to know whether you’re going to be dealing with over-exuberance or chronic douchebaggery. Sometimes you can’t avoid being in awkward situations when people are rowdy and inebriated in a bar, but here are a few early clues to help you tell who is going to be a fun hang and who might just be a psychopath.
You will have regrets. Just try to minimize them. (Unsplash/Patrick Fore)
Anyone drinking a Shamrock Shake…
The clover is a perfect example of how everything went sideways at some point. A 4-leaf clover was seen in Ireland as a sign of good luck. A Shamrock is just the name for the more common 3-leafed clovers which were used by St. Patrick to teach the holy trinity – a sign of eternal life. In America we celebrate with the Shamrock Shake, which has absolutely nothing to do with Ireland and is just a sign that you’re going to probably need a bathroom soon. Besides the gastrointestinal land mines, this is also a person who probably started their day with what they thought was a traditional Irish breakfast – Lucky Charms.
What is the Irish word for No? (YouTube/Mashed)
Anyone inviting you to eat Corned Beef and Cabbage…
Forgetting the fact that this tradition was started in the United States, and is only loosely tied to the Irish. Cabbage should not be shared with people you respect, unless you are at war or have been married for 30 years – the only two situations that can encapsulate that level of shared trauma and gastrointestinal tolerance.
Anyone pinching you for not wearing green…
This is based on Irish folklore which says that leprechauns can’t see green. When you don’t wear green, they pinch you. So if someone pinches you for not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day, you first check to see if they are over three feet tall. If they are, they are definitely not a leprechaun and you are allowed to either punch them* or file charges, depending on your tolerance for pain and/or paperwork.
He will tell you he's a leprechaun. He is not. (Unsplash/Timothy Dykes)
Hopefully this helps you enjoy St. Patrick’s Day responsibly, gleefully, and douchebag-free…fully.
* Note – Please consult local ordinances first – likely not legal to punch someone.
