Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
If you’re in Connecticut and see a miniature Scottish Highland bull wandering around, you aren’t necessarily hallucinating, and there’s a chance that your vision is actually correct.
That’s because one such mini bull, at about three feet tall, recently escaped from a farm in Franklin, in eastern Connecticut. The bull’s name is Lefty, and the shaggy fellow has been spotted several times. The farm said that he had only recently arrived at their abode when he got freaked out by another bull and slipped underneath a fence. Now he’s free to roam and explore the wonders of New England in autumn, as any bovine worth its salt lick loves to do.
A Highland bull, with shaggy hair and striking eyes, should have the nickname Boy Band of the Bovine. (EditBayFive/Reddit)
Officials have put out a cattle call for locals to be on the lookout. Anyone who spots the Lilliputian Lefty is asked to steer him back towards the farm.
The little guy on the loose has caused local excitement, but also some confusion. Two businesspeople were finalizing negotiations of a deal while standing outside, when one suddenly blurted out, “I think that’s a little bull.” She had spotted Lefty the bull off in the distance, but the other businessperson thought she was talking about his offer. This caused tensions to escalate quickly, and the deal was ruined. But it’s hard to blame Lefty for such a sitcom-like misunderstanding.
Believe it or not, another Scottish Highland bull was on the loose in Connecticut earlier this year, with one very big difference: it was in western Connecticut, not eastern Connecticut. So really, the incidents have almost nothing in common.
Bully for you: this miniature chap also got loose earlier this year in the very same state. Go figure. (Eyewitness News ABC7NY/YouTube)
“I’m rooting for Lefty,” said a local Connecticuter who was outside making preparations for the long, brutal, numbing winter ahead. “I can honestly say that he’s one of the cutest mini Scottish Highland bulls to be on the loose in this state in the past two years. And that’s saying something.”
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
