Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
NIEU-BETHESDA, South Africa — Local authorities are asking for public assistance in locating a mannequin named Beverly who had not moved from her position in approximately two years until sometime last week, when she moved considerably. Authorities describe the departure as “uncharacteristic” and “physically improbable without assistance.”
She's going to have VERY wrinkly legs. (nieubethesdatourism/instagram)
The swimsuit-clad mannequin disappeared from her concrete-anchored position in the water along the main road into town. Nieu-Bethesda Tourism officials called her “quirky” and “charming,” descriptions that possibly reveal the limits of what constitutes entertainment in a town of 1,500 people.
Local artist Ryno Greef created the installation two years ago after a Facebook joke about skinny-dipping evolved into a civic art project. Greef told Eyewitness News he found the mannequin in a Port Elizabeth second-hand shop and immediately knew she was “the one,” a romantic origin story that ends with a fake woman being dressed, mounted to concrete, and placed on a dam.
Officials described Beverly as having become “an important part of the town’s character,” which raises questions about what the town’s character was before two years ago. Tourism literature listed her as a “must-see attraction,” alongside the local Owl House museum and “other things we’re trying to remember right now.”
The investigation continues. No witnesses have come forward, though several drivers reported seeing Beverly in her usual spot right up until she wasn’t there, which authorities describe as “not the most useful information, but it’s all we have.”
The artist said he’d welcome Beverly’s return “no questions asked,” though several questions immediately come to mind. Tourism officials have begun discussing contingency plans, including possibly installing a replacement mannequin or finally admitting the town needs more attractions.
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