Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
“Man, those woke liberals. They’re the worst. Always trying to push their agendas on people who just want America to be great again. Now there are perverts dressing up as women to try to get into locker rooms just so they can see naked people. Not like me. I’m documenting groomers, and if I have to hit the men’s room and ask questions to do my own research to bring down the deep state, then so be it.” That’s more or less the thinking that true patriot idiot Andrew Sheets must have had going through his head while infiltrating the Naples Pride Fest. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out the way he’d planned.
Seems like he's grooming himself. (youtube.com/@GulfCoastNewsNow)
Armed with a pair of Meta glasses, Sheets went undercover to expose the grooming that was purportedly taking place at the event, or as his 40-minute video was eloquently titled, “documenting the grooming churchs at the Naples Gay pride Trany event, cops had me folowed every where.” What he lacked in spelling skills, he made up for in fearlessness, asking vendors and attendees at the event whether they thought it was a First Amendment violation for the streets to be blocked to keep protesters away. He didn’t get a “gotcha” moment, as most replied that it likely had to do with the Proud Boys showing up to the event last year.
Sheets made it into a men’s room at one point in the video to utilize the facilities, perhaps the most tasteful part of the whole video. The footage captures others in the restroom, two of whom turned out to be undercover cops. They were “shocked” and “embarrassed’ by seeing footage of themselves online. And it wasn’t even Sheets’ first run-in with the law that day, as he’d initially tried to bring a handgun to the event. He was stopped by security and brought his gun back to the car, but was later caught once again at the entrance with an AR-15.
Instead of owning up to his mistake and realizing that perhaps you shouldn’t film anything in a restroom, Sheets doubled down, as one does. “Yes, I did go in,” he confessed. “Public bathroom. Nobody was in there. I went to the stall to pee. My intent was not to get [expletive] pics, like they’re trying to say.” The cops, especially the ones captured in his video, were not swayed by his defense, and he was charged with video voyeurism and video voyeurism dissemination.
If he was trying to expose perverts, he found one. It was the guy wearing Meta glasses who recorded himself peeing and others in the restroom taking care of business. “The irony is difficult to ignore,” Naples Pride said in a statement. “A man who publicly accused our community of ‘grooming’ now stands accused of unlawfully recording people in a place where privacy is expected.” And now he’s really gotta go. To jail.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
