What a LONG, HARD day. FOR THE LOGS! (bynyalcin/Wikimedia commons)
Vancouver’s Wreck Beach is a four-mile-long, clothing-optional, longtime haven for naturalist beach lovers—but now, the man is trying to regulate their favorite shoreline’s natural state.
In a recent interview, beach visitors (photos of whom are extreme close-ups, for obvious reasons) complain that Metro Vancouver, the local government, is taking away the “privacy logs” that have been used for lounging and hiding from prying tourist eyes going back decades.
Here they are all the way back in 1980, minding their own log business and bothering no one.
When logs wash ashore over the winter, beachgoers put them in various formations on the beach to lounge on/among, to protect them from sun and wind, and, just to be creative, place some into mystical-seeming, druid-adjacent configurations—the log formations have even served as the inspiration for the beach’s new restrooms, installed in 2013.
The beach is situated at the northwestern tip of the city, part of the University of British Columbia’s Endowment Lands. In recent years, it’s become more popular, with total visitors up 20 percent over previous periods. The only way to get there is by boat, or via a 500-foot downward climb, and there were more emergency calls at the beach in 2023 than ever before.
(Did seeing nudists cause visitors to pass out from clutching their pearls too hard? (Treavelmode777/Wikimedia Commons)
In response, Metro Vancouver implemented measures to make the beach “more accessible” including removing the logs, which, in addition to all the other benefits, provide sought-after privacy for the nudists. Since the beach’s popularity has been on the rise, more and more tourists come not to swim, but to check out the scene.
This isn’t the first time authorities have tried to keep the nudists down (figuratively). After hippies had begun to flock to the beach in the sixties, police raided it in 1970 and arrested thirteen sunbathers, all of whom were rightfully taken by surprise—by then, the beach had been clothing-optional for over 30 years. Nude bathing became popular in the area in the thirties because, during the Great Depression, no one had jobs, nor could they afford swimsuits. Nude sea-bathing: problem solved!
After the raid, the cops backed down and dropped the charges after the local newspaper, the Georgia Straight, held a “nude-in” protest, and 3,000 naked people showed up, which is awesome (subscribe here!). Subsequently, the beach was a “no harm, no foul” zone until it was made officially clothing-optional for law-abiding citizens in 1991, which is frankly still pretty embarrassing.
If any readers have never been to a nude beach, let us first assure you that it is generally not along the lines of anyone’s fantasy, except perhaps in terms of body positivity. Most people who frequent nude beaches, no matter their age and body type, are entirely without self-consciousness and are secure in themselves to a point that we should all aspire to.
That said, it is rude, gross, and tacky to visit and gawk at people doing nothing more than enjoying themselves in nature without joining in, you weirdo. The province may be named after Queen Victoria, but that doesn’t mean we need to let her ruin our good time from beyond her grave, DO WE?
You’re telling me THIS lady was uptight? (Alexander Bassano, Public Domain/Wikimedia Commons)
