Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Bees – they’re great for the whole pollination thing, and we wouldn’t have honey without them. On the other hand, has anyone seen My Girl? We’re not saying all bees are jerks, or that you’ll always die from a sting, but nothing will ruin a picnic or a fun game of throwing rocks at hornet nests like a bunch of hungry or angry bees. In short, it’s a good idea not to mess with them or give them anything to get mad about. But try telling that to a truck driver, who lost control of first his truck, and then the 14 million bees he was carrying.
His favorite band is Queen. His second favorite is W.A.S.P. (Derek.Condit/Facebook)
This all took place in Washington State in a town called Weidkamp near the Canadian border when a truck carrying 70,000 pounds of bee hives took a turn for the worse – which is to say the driver, who we’ll just call Willie Bee Sting, navigated a turn in such a way that his trailer turned over and rolled into a ditch, the Whatcom County Sheriff’s Department reported. “Sweet freedom!” millions of bees thought, as they flew towards freedom. Or perhaps they were a little freaked out that their ride crashed and didn’t know where their queen was. Either way, a lot of bees were suddenly on the loose, and no flower anywhere in the area was safe.
While the initial number of bees was thought to be 250 million, after counting, they lowered it to a mere 14 million, since all bees look alike and they may have miscounted a bit in the initial panic. They quickly called in the professionals, and 3,000 beekeepers showed up. That number was eventually lowered to two dozen, as many of them were wearing beekeeping masks, and they also looked alike.
The beekeepers recovered the hives, restored them, and waited for the bees to return home, which resulted in the road being closed for nearly one day and the Sheriff’s department warning everyone to “bee” careful. We hear that while most of the honeybees wound up heading back to the hive, some flew over the border to check out some sap, or “Canadian honey,” as they called it. Others congregated at a nearby Applebee’s because they liked the name. But with the majority of them returned, we’ve learned a valuable lesson – there’s more than one way to catch a buzz.
This article is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
