Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
It’s always exciting when something comes along to disrupt your daily routine. Is that a new Starbucks on your way to work? Game changer, this one is two blocks closer than the one you usually go to! A new TV show you’ve started watching? Now you have a totally different weekly excuse to blow off your friends. In Japan, they’ve discovered a brand new way to do something you should probably be doing on a somewhat regular basis, which is showering. And if you like claustrophobia, boy, do they have you covered – literally!
The laziest way to shower, or the wettest way to relax? You're both right! (Science Co)
There’s a Japanese bathroom fixture company in Osaka named Science, because why the hell not? Maybe Home Ec was taken, and Math was a little too complicated. At any rate, they’ve decided to build a better mousetrap, so to speak, but instead of trapping mice, there’s a potential that humans could be trapped instead. The Mirai Ningen Sentakki, which translates to “Future Human Washing Machine,” is a reclining chair located in a pod that closes and then fills with water. That kind of makes it a bathtub, albeit an enclosed one. Then the water eventually drains, and nozzles spray you with water, rinsing you off.
If that sounds like it might be potentially a little stressful, that’s because yes. But Science scientists appear to have taken that into consideration. There’s also a TV screen that shows footage of sea life and sunsets while soothing music plays, quite possibly “My Heart Will Go On” from the Titanic soundtrack or maybe the Jaws theme. That may be relaxing enough for some, but being caught in a personalized Titan submersible hellpod might not be your cup of tea.
So far, there’s only one of these Washing Machines built, and it was displayed at the Expo 2025 world’s fair in Osaka. In fact, attendees could even use it, provided they were neither claustrophobic nor ashamed of bathing in front of a bunch of gawking fair-goers. Oddly enough, in the video showing this, the “soothing” TV screen proclaims, “I Am A Mermaid.” Does that mean that the user is a mermaid or the washing machine? Science doesn’t say.
Either way, those who used it were almost universally satisfied, with 77.6 % claiming they were “very satisfied” with bath-bot 2025 and an additional 21.1% merely “satisfied.” The remaining 1.3% might have had a panic attack and run out of the room as soon as they got out of the Washing Machine.
That does mean, however, that there is a future for the machine. While they’d only intended it as a one-off concept of what the future could look like for people too lazy to scrub themselves, hotel operators were impressed enough to reach out to Science, and there will be six units installed in hotels and “leisure facilities” (aka spas) around Japan. The original one from Expo will be displayed at their showroom in Shin Osaka Central Tower, in case you find yourself in Osaka and in need of the craziest bath you’ll ever take.
If you find yourself wanting one for your own place, don’t hold your breath. Science states that the size and shape of each unit would make it impractical for most homes, and also that it would cost about as much as “an imported luxury car.” We’re not sure if that’s before or after tariffs, but you can approximate what owning a Future Human Washing Machine might be like by getting in a bathtub and having a friend spray you with a garden hose.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
