Robots have bad days too. (Stable Diffusion Online)
Disclaimer: While this story is programmed with facts, it may contain a few gigabytes of satire.
If you’re losing sleep over the robot uprising, you now have one less potential future overlord to worry about. In a dramatic twist straight out of a sci-fi soap opera (The Bolts and the Beautiful? Data of Our Lives?), a South Korean office assistant robot took itself to that big robot graveyard in the sky.
Appointed in August 2023, the robot played an integral part in the day-to-day business at the Gumi City Council; it even had its own civil service officer card. City Council members claim this robot was the pride and joy of their workplace, but what do you wanna bet the thing never even got a “thank you?”
Robot coworkers may sound odd, but South Korea is known for its enthusiastic embrace of cyborgs in the workplace. In fact, there’s approximately one industrial robot for every 10 employees.
Working with robots could put some people on edge. I get it. It’s kind of threatening to work side by side with a cold, unfeeling entity that’s gunning every day to take your place, but hey, we’ve all been there. (I’m looking at you, Lisa.)
I hate you, Lisa. (Odd News Show/Canva)
Being trapped under fluorescent lights for 40 hours a week will drive anyone mad, human or not. After a thankless day and one too many “low-battery” jokes, the Gumi City Council robot threw itself down a six-and-a-half-foot-long staircase. I think most of us who’ve toiled away in an office have fantasized about doing this a time or two.
"Take this job and shove it." (Odd News Show/Canva)
Many were shocked by the malfunction because this robot seemingly had so much to power on for. Unlike other robots that are confined to a single floor, this versatile bot could call an elevator and move between floors all on its own—too bad it couldn’t call itself an Uber to get the hell outta there.
The exact cause of the fall is still under investigation, but witnesses reported seeing the robotic officer “circling in one spot as if something was there” before its tragic tumble. Local media outlets are referring to it as the nation’s first robot suicide.
A robot CSI team is currently piecing together the bot’s final moments, but I think it’s safe to say this automated civil servant was programmed to be a little too human and simply would rather cease to exist than face another day of the 9-to-5 grind.
For now, Gumi City Council is not planning to adopt a second cyber assistant. TOO SOON! Let this be a lesson to bosses everywhere: your employees need mental health days—even the robots.
