Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Are you a fan of the Netflix reality show Love Is Blind? It’s got a pretty great concept, in which horny singles are quarantined and try to find love without seeing each other first. In fact, after getting to know each other through voice only, the only way they get to see their mate is by proposing to them, which is probably a metaphor for something, but definitely where they got the show’s name from. Someone didn’t tell season 10 contestant Elissa Finley that, however. She appears to have taken the title literally, as she needed medical attention after dumping nail glue in her eye.
Love is Blind, and so was she for a while. (Adam Rose/Netflix)
There’s a large subset of people who would rather pour glue in their eyes than watch another reality show, but as a contestant, Finley wasn’t one of them. She had a legitimate reason for doing this, which was manufacturing drama for a reality show in its tenth season that she mistook the nail glue for her eyedrops. The mishap took place at the end of the first episode, because of course it did. As someone who’s never used nail glue (yet, anyway!), I’d assume that it’d be easy enough to actually not mistake it for eye drops, so maybe the contestant was actually visually impaired even before her mistake.
It turns out that Finley is a nurse in Ohio, so as soon as she glued her eye, she knew that it probably wasn’t a medically sound practice. “Oh my god, what did I do?!” she screamed, knowing that the answer was “something I shouldn’t have.” She was taken out of quarantine and rushed to a hospital, where she was hooked up to an IV while her eye was flushed. “The guy was getting the glue out,” she exclaimed “It was so awful. I can’t believe I did that.” But the show must go on, and after getting unglued, she returned to the show, despite her eye still hurting.
Elissa wound up with not only a good story upon her return, but also an engagement. However, you’re not blind if you missed it, even if your eyes were glued to the screen. Her engagement with Miguel Josue Lopez was filmed, but the next day, he told her that he was moving from Ohio to Tampa, so she quickly broke things off, and their engagement didn’t air. So now you can follow along with the existing seven couples in Mexico, while Finley returns to work as a nurse, where her keen eye and attention to detail will likely be at the center of a malpractice suit before long.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
