Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
We’re not sure if this is an actual trend, but just last month, we wrote about a Tesla owner who decided to test “wade mode” on his Cybertruck in a lake to disastrous consequences. And now, less than a month later, here’s another “wet Tesla” story. This one took place in New Canaan, CT, but has a handful of things that set it apart from the prior story. For one, it happened by accident, rather than someone trying to test the limits of their vehicle and their own stupidity. Secondly, it wasn’t a Cybertruck, which automatically makes this instance about 30% less funny. And thirdly, the body of water was smaller. Significantly smaller.
His car had 4-wheel dive. (news12/youtube)
Instead of focusing on the Tesla driver, we’ll first turn it over to New Canaan lifeguard Mike D’urso, who was getting ready for work at a public pool when he heard a crash. “Me and my coworker were setting up the umbrellas when we heard a loud crash and we turned around and there was a car right in the middle of the pool,” he said. “I’m just thinking, this has got to be some type of training exercise or something.” If the training exercise was for driving, the driver failed, but if it was for thinking quickly and saving a guy from drowning in his car that he’d driven into a pool, D’urso passed.
He and others jumped into the pool, where the driver was still conscious, but likely embarrassed. As the car started to take on water, EMS workers joined in and broke a window, pulling the driver out. It turns out that it wasn’t even Tesla’s fault, as the elderly driver wasn’t using its self-driving mode, although maybe he should have been. The guy said he was trying to park, but instead accelerated through a fence and a set of trees right into the pool, which is actually kind of impressive. From a “not killing a bunch of people” perspective, it’s fortunate that he decided not to park before the pool opened that day.
The pool has to be drained, cleaned, and refilled before reopening, which draws a parallel to something currently happening in DC, although we don’t want to say exactly what, since they appear to be arresting people for no apparent reason for even thinking about it (okay, it rhymes with “deflecting jewel”). Presumably, a sign will be installed once it’s open for business again, reading “please step out of your car before jumping in the pool.” As for D’urso, he might as well retire as a lifeguard, since blowing a whistle at kids that are splashing too much for the rest of the Summer will pale in comparison to this.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
