Taking a bite out of life: Mets superfan enjoys (probably the last) Dollar Dog Night. (mitchboorstein/X)
Disclaimer: While this article is encased in meaty facts, it does contain some condiments of satire. Remember to wipe your hands after reading.
Citi Field transformed into a wiener warzone recently when one die-hard Mets fan made the most of what will probably be the last-ever Dollar Dog Night… by encouraging fellow fans to pelt him with discount franks. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Multiple videos were shared of the local legend who wore a whimsical hot dog hat and a homemade T-shirt that read, “Bad day to be a Glizzy” (meaning a bad day to be a hot dog.)
By the end of the night, the shirt resembled a scoreboard with an impressive running tally of hot dogs wolfed (9) and cold beers chugged (10). RIP this man’s internal organs.
Alexa, play “Hero” by Mariah Carey. (bbcush/X)
Citi Field sold a record-breaking 44,269 hotdogs to a Tuesday night crowd of 22,880, leaving concession stand staff in a state of disbelief and the New York Sewer system in a state of chaos.
The Mets set a limit of 4 Franks per fan (wtf, I thought this was America?), but this nitrate enthusiast beat the system by encouraging nearby fans to start hurling hot dogs in the direction of his hungry mouth. Mets Nation obliged and began pelting the man with dollar dogs. Who says New Yorkers are rude?
“At one point at least 100 hot dogs were flying towards me. It reminded me a lot of my single days.”
– Mets Fan, Nicole Walker.
Like all good things, the Frankfurter tsunami eventually had to come to an end. Naturally, the situation escalated, and security personnel were forced to intervene, escorting the hot doggin’ bad boy from his field-level seats straight into infamy.
The crowd did not take kindly to their glizzy-guzziling hero being publicly disrespected in this manner. After all, only a superhuman could inject that much discount mystery meat directly into his digestive system and survive.
This is what happens to your head if you eat 10 glizzys. (Scott Smith/Flickr/Odd News Show)
Fans booed Citi Field Security, chanting “Let him eat,” while their hot dog-hogging hero relish-ed his newfound fame. He waved and high-fived his adoring fans while being led off the premises without incident. Everyone agreed it was the most exciting thing to ever happen at a Mets Game.
The real winner of the game. (mitchboorstein/X)
In a world where chaos reigns supreme and discount hot dogs fly with reckless abandon, one man dared to dream the impossible dream: put an end to The Mets’ promotional Dollar Dog Nights forever. He achieved that dream simply by being his hungry self, and for that, he will forever hold a special place in the annals of hot dog history.
