Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
"Yeah, I sure do want to get away" – some kid. (Eric Salard/Creative Commons)
Were you ever mad enough at your parents that you wanted to run away, then you did, but realized two blocks later that a bandana tied to a stick couldn’t fit enough clothes and food to last you longer than a few days, and then returned home with your tail between your legs before they even noticed you were missing? Yeah, of course not – us neither.
Those hypothetical plans probably involved you riding the rails until the train stopped at a candy factory where you could stow away until you became a chocolate baron or your parents admitted they were wrong and forgave you. However, we (okay, just me) might have been thinking on way too small of a scale, as one kid recently gave his parents the slip by flying to Italy.
This all began on the Mediterranean island of Menorca, where a family, which included a 15-year-old boy, was scheduled to head back from their vacation (or holiday, as they call it) to London. In a twist on Home Alone, they realized their child (maybe named Kevin?) wasn’t on the plane before they boarded it, and began a search for him. That search included checking the airport’s CCTV, where they quickly saw that he’d boarded an easyJet to Milan.
"I thought there'd be pizza here" – the same kid. (Saffron Blaze/Creative Commons)
It turned out that he’d boarded the flight to Italy by slipping onto the jet without being caught by staff at the gate, and apparently, anyone else on board the plane. Had he bought a ticket? Of course not! His mom ended up boarding a plane to Milan, where authorities were waiting for the kid, and she brought him back to London, where, unlike many flights, he’s probably grounded for a long time.
“Look, have you seen the weather forecast for London?” the 15-year-old probably asked. “London Fog isn’t just a dumb coat company. Also, I’ve played enough Mario Kart to see that Mario and Luigi have a pretty good life in Italy, except for occasionally slipping on banana peels while driving. And I’ve seen The White Lotus, and that second season made Italy look pretty good, except for all the murders. That show also taught me that family kind of sucks, so why wouldn’t I want to get away from them after getting away from it all with them? If you’re planning on running away from your family at an airport, I’d definitely recommend easyJet. They don’t check for anything. If they were called difficultJet, I wouldn’t have even bothered trying in the first place.”
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
