Music Whiz: Glastonbury Turns Festival Pee into Fertilizer

As one of the largest music festivals in the world, Glastonbury attracts hundreds of thousands of hydrated attendees each year. Now, they aren’t about to let all that liquid gold go to waste. This year, festivalgoers’ full bladders will be contributing to a pee-tastic cause by donating gallons and gallons of their hot whiz to a start-up with a rather unique business model.

Enter NPK Recovery, a real company (and definitely not just some guy with a urine fetish) that’s reportedly turning Porta Potty pee into environmentally friendly fertilizer.

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time Glastonbury has found a creative use for its excess urine. Back in 2019, the festival managed to harness the power of pee to run the screens on the Pyramid Stage with a special urinal. (Meanwhile, when my ex-boyfriend got drunk and urinated on his laptop, it violated the warranty.)

The pee-to-plant food pipeline doesn’t come cheap. NPK Recovery received a $91,027.44 grant to make this project a go, but they have their work cut out for them. After all, Glastonbury is still a music festival, which means who knows what kind of illicit substances are raving in those pee particles.

Remember that 2021 BBC report that claimed the festival runoff contaminated the nearby water supply with MDMA? It was the first time fish were able to get baked without leaving the water. If those nerd scientists can filter out the drugs, fine, but if not, no biggie. Plants need to party too, man.

Urine fertilizer isn’t exactly a booming business yet – it’s hard to compete with cheaper, less imaginative options (I’m looking at you, poop). But NPK is hoping this will be a giant stream for mankind in the pee-to-fertilizer market.

While environmentally conscious music lovers can rejoice that their pee is going to a better place, I think most festival-goers would prefer that money go to fund Porta Potties that don’t make your life flash before your eyes when you use them.