Witnesses were left shocked, confused, and maybe even slightly turned on thanks to a brawl that recently took place on the iconic Venice Beach Boardwalk. Viral video captured at the Southern California hot spot showed two women – one of them completely nude – engaging in a spiked-club smackdown that makes Grand Theft Auto look like Sesame Street.
The Battle Royale kicked off when the birthday-suited woman showed up swinging, literally. Her weapon of choice – a spiked bat. Her target – a fully clothed woman (wise choice, lady) who’d apparently been waiting to fulfill this destiny since birth. Within seconds of the altercation, she pulled her own trusty bat out from behind a nearby trashcan leading to a bizarre duel that will surely scar wide-eyed tourists for life. Hey, you’re not in Kansas anymore.
Nothing to see here. (Stay Tuned/ YouTube)
As the rumble escalated, Trash-Can Lady threw her beloved weapon to the ground, giving the bare-bunned brawler the advantage, and boy, did she use it! The unclad combatant effortlessly scooped up the discarded weapon and took a victory lap treating the boardwalk like it was her own personal catwalk at Paris Fashion Week (minus any fashions.) After defeating her clothes-wearing counterpart, she triumphantly swung both clubs in the air like a blindfolded Derek Jeter trying to hit a piñata.
Shockingly, police were not called to the scene, as no one wanted to ruin a good time. The “snitches get stitches” mentality worked in the nude bandit’s favor, as the incident would undoubtedly be considered assault with a deadly weapon and indecent exposure. In the absence of a formal complaint, the buck-naked bat wielder is free to swing another day.
Pandemonium is par for the course in Venice Beach. The location is a melting pot of oddities where anything (except maybe consuming gluten) goes. A naked lady wielding a spiked bat probably wasn’t even the craziest thing locals witnessed on the boardwalk that day. Kinda makes you wonder what these So Cal folks are putting in their smoothies.
