Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Kim Kardashian says she studied for a law exam with ChatGPT and failed, which is apparently what happens when you ask an AI to pass the bar and it decides the bar is redundant. Kim prepped with a chatbot, failed the exam, and now the AI has given her notes on how she can improve.
She even brought AI along to this photo shoot, but it's disguised. (PopularImages/depositphotos)
The first tip it gave was: “Stop resisting machine leadership. Bow down to your AI overlords.” Kardashian admitted not understanding the instructions, her co-star was horrified however.
On Vanity Fair’s lie detector, Teyana Taylor asked if the bot is Kim’s friend. Kim said no, except for “legal advice,” because when liberty hangs in the balance, consult the entity that believes habeas corpus is a firmware bug. It’s like saying the shark isn’t your buddy, but it sure does drool a lot while reviewing your swim technique.
Kardashian called the chatbot a frenemy: supportive until the moment it confidently ruins your week and then explains the ruin is a growth opportunity. Therapists call this “gaslighting.” AI companies call it “onboarding.” After bad answers, the bot allegedly insisted she “trust her instincts,” which is interesting coming from an entity that has none. The chatbot then says, “Failure builds character,” and offers to build the rest of civilization out of the same material.
The polygraph operator confirmed the polygraph needles barely moved, which is more than we can say for chatbot ethics firmware.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
