I'm FLYING, man! (Sbork/Wikimedia Commons)
Dolphins and humans have a lot in common: We call each other by name, have linguistic dialects, commit crimes against one another, cooperate, and nurse our young. We even (with apologies for any offense to readers who may be members of the intelligent design theory of non-evolution) share DNA.
A documentary found that our marine mammal cousins might also be just like us in one more significant way: they’ll try just about anything to get high, er, sorry, to find a psychoactive substance that can affect how they perceive the world, and give them additional perspective on their lives and the universe.
On earth, archaeological evidence points to humans experimenting with drugs as far back as B.C.E. 8,100 (cannabis seeds discovered in Asia), B.C.E. 5,700 (evidence of opium use in Europe), and B.C.E. 450 (per the ancient Greek historian Herodotus, the Scythians, an eastern nomadic group, used to get high on weed).
Under the sea, dolphins seem to have found success using a toxin secreted by puffer fish. Just like the basement gang from That 70’s Show, footage shows a group of young dolphins carefully chewing and passing around a puffer fish until they start to act loopy, swimming up to the surface to gaze at their own reflections. Whomst of us has not fallen prey to studying our own reflections on a trip?
As fellow self-aware mammals, we really couldn’t blame them for wanting a quick break from reality, nor can we judge putting poisonous fish in their mouths, since some of us bipeds walk free and use our fancy opposable thumbs to lick toad butts or smoke their venom to catch a buzz, er, have a transcendent watershed spiritual experience.
"HELP!" (Uploader1977/Wikimedia Commons)
It’s worth noting that this behavior has not been observed or described by a single scientist outside of the documentary, and there are plenty of alternative explanations for why the dolphins acted the way they did, so take it with an ocean full of salt.
Further, we are absolutely certain that some highly motivated humans have taken the plunge and chewed on a puffer fish having the worst day of its life. If it were that good, we’re sure it would already be in stock at our local dealer and the subject of more than one 60 Minutes episode.
So let’s do better for our aquatic counterpart…y people—perhaps a cross-species collaboration on dolphin-safe edibles?
"I'd really appreciate it!" ud83dude07 (Robert Eede/Flickr)
