Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
A woman from California now holds the record for putting the most golf tees in her hair, having been inspired to break a record related to her love of the Good Walk Spoiled pastime. It was not immediately clear who held the previous record for putting golf tees in their hair, but I bet that person is feeling pretty dumb right about now.
It took 47 minutes for friends to put all those tees in the woman’s hairdo, which seems very fast, and those helpers surely deserve to share in the residual glory of the feat. The woman acknowledged that the task was rather silly and goofy, which earned her another record for being the first record-holder to have proper self-awareness of the inanity of it all.
Am I crazy or could this catch on as a hot style? (guinnessworldrecords and katanastrong/Instagram)
“Not only am I impressed by the record,” said an onlooker, “but I kind of like the way it looks. One side is sharp, the other is round and smooth, and it makes a cool sound when you walk. The downside is that if you try to touch your hair, you’ll end up with a gash requiring dozens of stitches, but that’s a minor price to pay for looking that good.”
Putting golf accessories in hair is a very particular skill that requires a special two-year degree. (guinnessworldrecords and katanastrong/Instagram)
“I admire her prudence,” said another onlooker. “Others would have insisted on putting something ludicrous in their hair just because it was related to golf, like sand wedges or flag pins. But she went with the reasonable choice. And we can all agree that ‘reasonable’ is the best word to describe 711 golf tees in a person’s tresses.”
“I feel inspired by what I’ve seen here today,” said another onlooker at the event, which apparently had lots of onlookers who were eager to talk to the media. “I have a love of chess, and I’m now wondering how many rooks I can fit in my curls at once. This is a question that the world needs answered, and a challenge that will enrich my life and definitely live on after me.”
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
