Disclaimer: While this article is boiled from real news, it does contain a grain or two of satire.
In what can only be described as a truly great achievement, a woman set a new record by eating 37 grains of rice with chopsticks, one at a time, in a single minute. Take a minute to digest that.
The woman, 24, from Bangladesh, crushed the previous record, which everyone knows was 27 individual rice grains eaten in a minute.
Her first words after breaking the record were, “Yes! I did it! I’m still hungry, is it okay if I eat some more?”
Yes, 37 grains of rice is impressive, but not enough for a filling meal. (guinnessworldrecords/Instagram)
The record-breaking woman has loved eating with chopsticks for several years, going back to her love for ramen. The record attempt came about when a coworker noticed her skill at eating rice with chopsticks and said she likely could break the record. “How do you know what that specific record is?” the woman asked. Her coworker replied, “I guess I’m kinda weird. But at least I’m weird in a harmless and encouraging kind of way.”
Well, at least she doesn't eat rice one at a time… Oh, never mind. (@SeinfeldTV/X)
The woman said she felt great about the milestone, and that those close to her are proud of her. “I don’t want to say I’m a better athlete than LeBron James,” she said. “I’ll leave that for others to debate. But I think my record clearly speaks for itself.”
Only a boorish fool would eat rice with a spoon. (guinnessworldrecords/Instagram)
When asked if she might try to break the record for grains of rice eaten in two minutes, the woman said, “Whoa, take it easy. That’s a big step forward. I’m just going to savor this feat, and maybe if I keep training, I’ll be ready for the two-minute record several years from now.”
