Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Senegal went to the 2026 World Cup, took a 2-0 lead over Belgium in the round of 32, and lost 3-2 in extra time on a Youri Tielemans penalty. Somebody was going to have to take the blame for that. At a press conference this week, Senegal Federation President Abdoulaye Fall announced that the reason Senegal was knocked out of the World Cup was because the team doctor was a gynecologist.
A gynecologist, hard at work. (Gary Al-Smith – Journalist/Facebook)
It seems that letting Belgium score twice in the closing minutes of regulation, doing nothing for 30 minutes of extra time, then lose on PKs might be the likelier culprit, but Senegal chose obstetrics instead.
“Our main doctor did not have the academic profile required to accompany our athletes,” Fall told reporters. “Dr Fédior is a gynecologist by training. That is something I discovered late, and the players were not convinced by him.” “Discovered late” is an interesting choice of words, because Dr. Abderahmane Fédior has been Senegal’s chief national-team doctor since 2017 and Fall runs the federation that employs him. The two men have presumably been in the same building at some point, maybe several times in the past decade.
Over that decade, Fédior accompanied the Lions to five Africa Cup of Nations tournaments and three World Cups, a run that included the only major trophy in the country’s history. He ran the physiotherapy department at Fann Hospital in Dakar. He has worked with swimmers, handball players, and competitive cyclists. He serves as a medical officer for both FIFA and the Confederation of African Football. No one appears to have been bothered by the gynecology until this week.
In response, the Senegalese Association of Sports Medicine released a statement calling Fall’s comments unfounded and defamatory and noting, for anyone keeping score, that Fédior does hold a specialist diploma in sports medicine and biology from the Faculty of Medicine at Cheikh Anta Diop University in Dakar. He is, in the plainest possible terms, a sports medicine specialist. The association demanded a public apology and reserved the right to take further action.
A doctor trained in one field who then specializes in another is not remotely uncommon. Most sports medicine physicians train in another specialty before realizing sports medicine makes an ass ton of money, especially if you’re well-connected.
It is likely that Senegal Federation President Fall has just committed the bureaucratic equivalent of an own goal regarding his own career.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
