Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
It isn’t every day that lots of people are talking about a nightjar turning up in a world capital, especially because most people don’t know what a nightjar is. Apparently, it’s a bird that is quite elusive in Northern Ireland. But don’t let anyone tell you that it’s extinct, because that kind of chatter is for the birds. One of the rare chaps was recently spotted behind a garbage bin in Belfast, which is known for its rich history and culture, and perhaps for its legendary garbage receptacles.
The nightjar's camouflage blends in great with nature, but not so great with garbage bins. (Doolittles Wildlife Rescue/YouTube)
A little bird – in this case, a local group of folks in the Northern Ireland capital – told animal rescuer Debbie Nelson about the winged treasure they had stumbled across. Debbie Nelson, who is also known as Debbie Doolittle, took the avian adventurer under her wing. Doolittle did a whole lot by giving the bird a place to relax and get refreshed before making sure it was ready again for the wild. Nocturnal birds like the nightjar can sometimes get confused by bright lights at night and accidentally fly into something, Nelson noted. Although some think that the bird was out on the town, exploring the city, just winging it, and looking for some fun nightlife hangouts.
“I was pretty shocked that the nightjar was found at night near a bin,” said a local man who can name over ten types of birds. “Because sure, it has ‘night’ in its name, and jars and bins are both containers, but let’s face it, they’re two very different types of containers. So whoever came up with the name ‘nightjar’ really messed up big time.”
The avian fellow taking 'er easy for a bit before being released back into the cold, cruel world. (Doolittles Wildlife Rescue/YouTube)
It turns out that the seemingly mysterious creature is quite easy to talk to – you just need to ask politely for an interview. Before being sent back into the wild by Doolittle, the winged creature said it was looking forward to returning to nature. “The first thing I’m going to do is find another one of those sweet garbage bins to hang out at. Man, I love those things, and they haven’t let me have any at this rehab place.” The nightjar added, “I don’t need to be rescued from those wonderfully artificial plastic boxes of magic. Just let me be me, you know?”
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
