Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
An inevitable reality of apartment living is hearing the occasional grunt and/or moan coming from your neighbors’ place. It usually means someone next door is having a really good time in the bedroom or, possibly, a really bad time in the bathroom. These types of noises usually wrap up quickly. Sometimes, embarrassingly so. Tenants of one condominium complex, however, say they heard sounds like this from 5 AM to 9 PM daily. Except, it wasn’t the other tenants whom they blamed for the ruckus. Rather, it was the building’s infestation of very loud gym rats.
One Denver, CO gym is feeling the weight of a peculiar lawsuit (iwatchwater/Depositphotos)
The building at the center of all this is The Beauvallon in Denver, Colorado. Which, based on the name, doesn’t feel like the type of place with tenants that would be super chill about anything, let alone inordinate noise.
It turns out, The Beauvallon is not only home to some 208 luxury residential condos, but also a gym called “Summit Strong” that operates within the complex. Normally, when there’s a gym located inside a luxury building, it typically consists of a few treadmills and maybe some weights, used occasionally by tenants when they happen to remember that they’re paying for a “fitness center.” However, Summit Strong operates independently from the residential part of the building and, compared to your average gym-goer, its clientele seems a bit more dedicated to their craft.
According to a lawsuit filed by three tenants who live directly above the gym, “Summit willingly allows its customers and/or staff to cause and emit unreasonably loud weightlifting-related noises without setting reasonable parameters.” Easier said than done. YOU try marching up to a weightlifter and telling them not to grunt so loudly.
The plaintiffs described the sounds as “weightlifters groaning, yelling and struggling to lift weights.” Struggling? Okay, now they’re just rubbing it in.
The lawsuit sought to restrict the gym’s operating hours, and went on to claim that tenants affected by the grunts and moans experienced “continued stress, inconvenience, anxiety, discomfort, aggravation…” and, let’s face it, at least a little arousal.
It’s unclear how the gym will respond to the lawsuit, but for now, one thing remains certain: No pain, no gain.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
