Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Why did the horses cross the road? Because they escaped from a barn and felt like going for a run. While as a joke the punchline needs work, as a news story, it is odd but true.
Fifteen foals managed to break free from a boarding facility in Kent County, MI, after one of the smaller horses opened a door, according to officials. This allowed the horses to run in the open and get in their all-important 10,000 gallops for the day.
The horses were eventually escorted off the highway, but first were given a ticket for being in a No-Gallop Zone. (Kent County Sheriff’s Office, 13 ON YOUR SIDE/YouTube)
“I told them not to have doors that are neigh-activated,” said a local man, “but no one ever listens.” After getting loose, the horses were hot to trot, and their neighs turned into yays. Locals had to get off their high horses and help pursue the unreined equines.
A horse with no name, and lots of delicious ground grub to munch on. (kent_county_sheriffs_office/Instagram)
State Police, Animal Control, and community members were all involved in chasing down the horses. It was a 90-minute barn burner of supreme hide-and-seek excitement.
“This is a really thrilling story,” said a local news reporter. “There are so many expressions involving horses that the pun possibilities are almost endless. But at a certain point, you need to stop horsing around and just pick some good ones and run with them.”
This article is based on fully factual news, so if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
