HHS Secretary RFK Jr To Launch Podcast Like Joe Rogan but With Fewer Vaccines and More Dead Bears
Public health, rebranded as a late-night campfire story told by your most concerning uncle.
Drew Curtis
Denmark Refuses To Participate in Global Sex Recession, Cites “Vibes”
Turns out free tuition, private apartments, and government-approved horniness is a surprisingly potent cocktail.
Drew Curtis
Study Finds Ultra-Processed Foods Engineered Like Cigarettes To Maximize Addiction
University of Michigan study says blaming yourself for eating the whole bag ignores that the bag was specifically designed to make you eat the whole bag.
Drew Curtis
Mechahitler, Now Working for the FDA, Will Happily Tell You What Food To Put in Your Rectum
Your tax dollars at work, ranking bananas by load-bearing capacity.
Drew Curtis
HHS Announces New Dietary Guidelines, Immediately Clarifies That Drinking Alone Still Counts as “Socializing”
Federal health policy enters its “do whatever, just don’t be weird about it” era.
Drew Curtis
Financial Experts Reveal Five Strategies To Reduce Healthcare Costs in Retirement
...and wouldn't you know it, "be rich" didn't make the list but is implied by all five.
Drew Curtis
Scientists Say Humans Might One Day Breathe Through Their Butts
Which tracks, given how many people already talk out of them.
Drew Curtis
Costco Has Seen Butter Days After Recall
"Nobody better lay a finger on my butter" isn't a complete sentence, but Costco recalled 79,200 lbs. of the yellow gold recently for a relatively dumb reason.
Bram Teitelman
4 Years Later: 5 Non-Political Things We Learned About Ourselves Since Covid
It’s been four years since Covid hit America full force. Here are five completely non-political things it taught us about what kind of people we actually are.
Jason Salmon
Fly Found Inside Man’s Intestines Alive and Well
During a routine colonoscopy in a hospital in Missouri, doctors were stunned to discover a fly, intact and alive, inside a patient’s intestines. The patient was equally perplexed and had no idea how the visitor made its way inside to enjoy his dinner.
Richard Cole
