Hanover County Raccoon Achieves in One Night What Most College Freshmen Need Four Years To Accomplish
Experts say his palate is unsophisticated, but his commitment to bad decisions is unmatched.
Drew Curtis
Chimps Drink Two Beers Worth of Booze Daily From Fruit. Amateurs
Which makes them the most responsible drinkers among all primates who went to Berkeley.
Drew Curtis
Iowa County Supervisor Resigns After Showing up Drunk to Meetings Seven Times in 13 Months
On the plus side, his pledge of allegiance really captured the current national mood.
Drew Curtis
Today in “I Want To Believe”: Study Shows Youth Drinking Correlates With Success
Norwegian sociologist argues that alcohol advances careers by breaking down inhibitions, though his university is now concerned about the faculty Christmas party.
Drew Curtis
Woman Found in Taxi Driver’s Trunk Says She Was “Just Spying on Her Husband”
Police say that wasn’t the weirdest part.
Drew Curtis
Wild Chimpanzees Are Drunk Too, Just Like Us
And no, they’re not getting wasted by drinking too much jungle juice.
Bram Teitelman
Council Bans Alcohol at Gravesites After Discovering Who’s Drinking It All
Authorities warn that cemeteries are for mourning loved ones, not hosting whisky-fueled raves with the ghost of Aunt Karen.
Drew Curtis
High Noon Accidentally Launches New Line of Energy-Based Alcoholism
Live fit. Drink fit. Hangover fit.
Drew Curtis
Fun-Loving Florida Thief Offers Cops a Drink
He got a chaser he didn’t ask for.
Bram Teitelman
108-Year-Old Woman Reveals Secret to Staying Young: Flirting With Mustached Men
Hide your grandpas! An Alabama woman celebrating her 108th trip around the sun has revealed her top-secret tips for staying forever young.
Missy Baker
Illinois Bar Offering Cicada-Infused Malört
When life gives you cicadas, make cicada-ade. Or perhaps combine the noisy insects having a once-in-a-17-year season throughout the Midwest with another regional phenomenon, disgusting Chicago liqueur Malört?
Bram Teitelman
Man’s Body Tries to Frame Him for Drunk-Driving
A Belgian man is cleared of a drunk driving charge after claiming his body produces alcohol. Turns out this is a real thing.
Jason Salmon
Elderly Drunk Sets World Record For Bar Crawl
If the rager you went on last night ended after three bars, a few shots, and a teary confessional phone call to an ex, a 69-year-old retiree is 40 times cooler than you are, and he’s got the world record to prove it.
Bram Teitelman
In an Octopus’s Garden: Hokkaido Business Will Age Your Alcohol Under the Sea
A Japanese business will age your alcohol in the world’s most spacious cellar (and bathroom!)—the ocean.
Katie Compa
