Fairfax County Parents Demand School District Block ‘Five Nights at Epstein’s’
The only thing scarier than the game title is explaining it at a PTA meeting.
Drew Curtis
Goat Joins Rampaging Monkeys On Loose In St. Louis
We knew St. Louis had a lot of party animals, but this is getting out of hand.
Bram Teitelman
St. Louis Officials Confirm “More Than One” Monkey Running Loose
...deploying the same mathematical rigor that planned the Rams stadium deal.
Drew Curtis
Monkey Escapes in Spirit Halloween, Raises Hell, Gets a Cookie
Monkey reportedly upset that it couldn't find a human costume.
Drew Curtis
Truck Carrying Research Monkeys Overturns in Mississippi
Mississippi immediately improved 10 spots in state-by-state education rankings.
Drew Curtis
Escaped Spider Monkey Captured by Coffee
Turns out this monkey likes coffee a latte.
Bram Teitelman
Escaped Miniature Bull on Parade in Connecticut
A mini adventure for a mini bull in the Constitution State.
Gabe Herman
Glocester Police Still Can’t Catch the Fugitive Goat
Locals suggest calling Batman, or at least Animal Control, which is basically the same thing in Rhode Island.
Drew Curtis
Deputies Corner Second Escaped Emu in One Week
Doug was reportedly nowhere to be found.
Drew Curtis
Chicago Sheep Escapes Slaughterhouse, Causes Rush Hour Chaos
Now seeks refuge on a farm with a Netflix password and an emotional support chicken.
Drew Curtis
Escaped Wallaby in New York Hops to It
If anyone spots a bounding marsupial loose in central New York State, it just might be the same one.
Gabe Herman
Fluffy Flock of Sheep Runs Amok in Texas Town
The herd sheepishly strolled about, taking in all the suburban sights and wonders.
Gabe Herman
Thelma and Moo-Ise; Two Feral Cows Are on the Run
We’ve heard of cowhide but this is ridiculous.
Bram Teitelman
Wild Horses Dragged Away From Michigan Highway After Getting Loose
The escaped, untethered horses were in the saddle for 90 minutes before being reined in.
Gabe Herman
