Trump Administration Registers aliens.gov To Distract From Epstein Files
Government tackles little green men while hoping you forget about very real rich ones.
Drew Curtis
Head of FEMA Disaster Response Says He Once Teleported to a Waffle House
But wait, there’s more...
Drew Curtis
Rep. Gonzales Admits “Lapse in Judgment” With Aide Who Lit Herself on Fire
Also claims God has forgiven him. God, as usual, was unavailable for comment.
Drew Curtis
Defense Secretary Reveals Classified Anti-Pizza Strategy Live on Television
In a bold counterintelligence move, the Joint Chiefs have declared war on late-night delivery drivers.
Drew Curtis
Albania’s AI Government Minister Turns Out To Be a Real Actress Who Had No Idea They Were Doing This
Albanian PM promised the world's first corruption-free AI minister. He built her by taking an actress's likeness without permission, which is a type of corruption.
Drew Curtis
Armenia Proposes Ministry of Sex To Address Nation’s “Most Pressing Needs”
Armenians consider whether this is rock bottom or a basement expansion.
Drew Curtis
HHS Announces New Dietary Guidelines, Immediately Clarifies That Drinking Alone Still Counts as “Socializing”
Federal health policy enters its “do whatever, just don’t be weird about it” era.
Drew Curtis
Albania Appoints World’s First AI Cabinet Member
“Diella can’t be corrupted,” says Albanian PM confidently, moments before she started awarding billion-dollar contracts to a startup called BitcoinBunkerShovel.io
Drew Curtis
Pentagon Baffled by 8,000 Mysterious Blurry UFO Orbs Hovering Over US Military Bases
Maybe proving that extraterrestrials have mastered interstellar travel but not 4K.
Drew Curtis
