Pentagon Used Grok, an AI That Once Called Itself Mechahitler, To Select Military Targets in Iran
The military insists a human stayed in the loop. The loop declined to comment.
Drew Curtis
Trump Administration Gets New Video Game Adaptation – Operation Epic Furious: Strait to Hell
New arcade game has players battling Iranian schoolgirls, low-flow showerheads, and the pope.
Drew Curtis
President Posts AI Image of Himself Losing at UNO, Claims He’s Winning
At least he didn’t depict himself as Jesus again. But the week is still young.
Drew Curtis
White House Asks Spies To Model How Iran Would React to Trump Declaring Victory
Which is a question they probably should have asked before the war even started.
Drew Curtis
Chevron Executive Tells Americans To Drive Less
Chevron returned $27 billion to shareholders last year. CEO compensation package is north of $30 million. But sure, try carpooling.
Drew Curtis
Trump Deletes AI Jesus, Orders McDonald’s, Holds Press Conference With Doordash Driver About Trans Athletes
Day 45 of the Iran war is somehow not the lead.
Drew Curtis
U.S. Shells Iran’s Pistachio Industry So California Can Corner the Global Nut Market
No euphemisms were deployed in this headline, not even the phrase “global nut market”.
Drew Curtis
Pope to Hegseth: God Hates War. Hegseth to Pope: I Know You Are, but What Am I?
Psalm 144 enters the chat, immediately regrets it.
Drew Curtis
Hundreds of Active-Duty Military Report Their Superiors Are Too Enthusiastic About Ending the World
Turns out “chain of command” now includes someone who lives in the sky and hasn’t filed paperwork since 33 A.D.
Drew Curtis
US Middle East Evacuation Hotline Leads To Unhelpful Information
Press 1 for evacuation, press 2 for existential dread, press 3 to enjoy the soothing sound of government hold music.
Drew Curtis
War Scores Well With DC Pizza Lovers
Because while politicians may be war-hungry, you can’t subsist on war alone.
Bram Teitelman
Egypt and Iran Demand FIFA Cancel Seattle’s World Cup Pride Match Citing “Cultural Values”
A diplomatic dribble, where two governments try to red-card rainbows in a city that composts intolerance for sport.
Drew Curtis
World Cup Pride Match Features Two Countries Where Being Gay Is Illegal
It’s the geopolitical equivalent of scheduling vegans at a steakhouse.
Drew Curtis
