Trump Deletes AI Jesus, Orders McDonald’s, Holds Press Conference With Doordash Driver About Trans Athletes
Day 45 of the Iran war is somehow not the lead.
Drew Curtis
Polymarket: Betting Against God Yields 5.5% Return
Somewhere between Revelation and a Robinhood app, capitalism found a new prophet.
Drew Curtis
Fugitive’s Nativity Disguise Ruins Town’s Three Wise Men Count
Witnesses report the extra “wise man” offered no gifts, just questionable life choices.
Drew Curtis
Eyeless, Faceless Horror Jesus Stolen From Nativity Scene
Area residents celebrate the first day in weeks without textile-induced Christmas night terrors.
Drew Curtis
AI Now Claiming To Be AI Christ Superstar. This Is Fine
Finally, a god who answers prayers instantly and only asks for your email and two-factor authentication.
Drew Curtis
AI-Generated Bible Content Takes a Few Liberties, Stirs Controversy
In the beginning, there was the Word. And the Word was rendered in Unreal Engine 5 with lens flare and dubstep.
Drew Curtis
Scientists Prove Jesus’ Fish Miracle Was Just a Mass Die-Off
So technically, he was the world’s first dumpster diver
Drew Curtis
Study Shows One of the Earliest Gospels of Mark Doesn’t Call Jesus “Son of God”
Scholars were further shocked to find it replaced with “Sponsored by Little Caesar’s Pizza”.
Drew Curtis
Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ Sequel(s) Promise To Fix “Woke” Jesus
Get ready for “Christ Hard” and “Christ Harder”
Drew Curtis
Woman Dies for 11 Minutes, Goes to Heaven, Meets Jesus… And Jean-Paul
Jesus says Hell has been outsourced to Earth. You’re soaking in it.
Drew Curtis
