Bull Sharks Have Friends, and That’s a Wonderful Thing
A heartwarming finding about cold-blooded creatures of the deep.
Gabe Herman
“Like Viagra for Your Mitochondria” – Researchers Supercharge Aging Cells With Tiny Flowers
Science has officially upgraded cellular aging from “inevitable decline” to “deliverable-by-nanobot bouquet.”
Drew Curtis
Smelling Farts May Prevent Alzheimer’s
Your dog has been trying to save your life this whole time.
Drew Curtis
Study: Cats Meow Louder at Men. Because They Have To
In groundbreaking news, cats confirm what women stopped bothering to explain sometime around the Bronze Age.
Drew Curtis
Chimps Drink Two Beers Worth of Booze Daily From Fruit. Amateurs
Which makes them the most responsible drinkers among all primates who went to Berkeley.
Drew Curtis
Study: People Are Nicer When Someone Nearby Is Dressed Like Batman
Apparently, all it takes for humans to act decently is a brooding billionaire in a cape.
Drew Curtis
AI Studying Whale Songs Says It Thinks Whale Language Might Have Vowels
Where linguists hear “vowels,” skeptics hear “clicks,” and whales hear… absolutely none of this nonsense.
Drew Curtis
Tired of Seagulls? Try Yelling at Them
Science suggests screaming stops saucy starving seabirds.
Bram Teitelman
Today in “I Want To Believe”: Study Shows Youth Drinking Correlates With Success
Norwegian sociologist argues that alcohol advances careers by breaking down inhibitions, though his university is now concerned about the faculty Christmas party.
Drew Curtis
Polish Leads for AI Prompts, Screwing in Lightbulbs, Submarine Doors
English remains competitive in apologizing profusely and forming committees about it.
Drew Curtis
AI Mitigates Dunning-Kruger Effect, but Replaces It With Something Dumber
Researchers confirm: with AI, everyone’s above average. Especially the wrong people.
Drew Curtis
Truck Carrying Research Monkeys Overturns in Mississippi
Mississippi immediately improved 10 spots in state-by-state education rankings.
Drew Curtis
Researchers Promise “A Complete Map of the Sixth Sense”
Also hoping to find Haley Joel Osment’s career.
Drew Curtis
Researchers CRISPR the Butt Trumpet Enzyme in Cow Guts, Accidentally Trigger Level 4 Dutch Oven Event
We can now trace the exact origin of any methane molecule in the air. So yes, Brenda, the dog knows it was you this whole time.
Drew Curtis
