Zoe Hamburger Steps Down From McDonald’s
No word if she gets to keep the Grimace robe or if the blood ritual resets.
Drew Curtis
Twins Jailed for Smuggling 91 Million Canisters of Laughing Gas “For Personal Use”
Mum still proud they finally did something together.
Drew Curtis
British Man Injured in Domestic Incident With Weapon of Ass Destruction
It was like a full-on solar eclipse, but no moon was involved.
Drew Curtis
Missing a Child? They May Have Escaped to Italy
In an escape that was just plane easy, the child boarded a jet.
Bram Teitelman
Loch Ness Sighting Sparks Global Curiosity, Renewed Monster Tourism, and Exactly Zero Scientific Evidence
But hey, the gift shop’s doing great.
Drew Curtis
Blustery Bishop Breaks up Concert in His PJs
Amazing Grace? More like Amazing Get Out Of My Place, amirite?
Bram Teitelman
Pyromaniac Tortoise Starts Apartment Blaze
There's no telling what else the guy will do now that he's come out of his shell.
Bram Teitelman
5 Reasons To Celebrate the 4th of July Even Though Everything Kind of Sucks
Happy Birthday, America! I know it’s kind of a bummer this year, but hang in there - there are still plenty of awesome reasons to celebrate the big 249 today.
Missy Baker
Missing Pink: Young Flamingo Somehow Escapes from Zoo
There's lax security, and then there's losing track of a four-month-old bird.
Gabe Herman
Jury Pool: Environmentalist Juror Swears His Oath on Water
Turns out you don’t have to follow the age-old oaths sworn before serving jury duty. This past week in a British court, one juror was permitted to swear on a river, which came as a surprise to many, not to mention to the river itself.
Liz Days
Bow Down to the GOAT: King Charles Bestows Royal Title on Rare Goat Breed
We’re not kidding around. King Charles has bestowed a royal title on a rare golden goat breed in the UK.
Missy Baker
When Pigs Cry: UK Cop Association Condemns Title of New TV Series
Police association decries ‘Piglets,’ accidentally boosts movement to ‘Defund The Police’.
Katie Compa
Mom, Baseball, and… Eton Fool? UK Baseball League Is Not to Be Trifled With
Baseball season is here! Let’s go Met… tropolitan London?
Katie Compa
Ice Scream: Ice Cream Truck Gets Swept Out to Sea
You’ve heard of an ice cream float, but this is ridiculous!
Missy Baker
