Dumb Guy Caught in Smart Toilet Theft
And now he's really gotta go... to jail.
Bram Teitelman
Would-Be Car Thief Calls Cops After Finding Drugs in Car
The guy had a heart of gold, which he’d also stolen.
Bram Teitelman
BC Man’s Duct Tape Acura Clocked at 130 km/h, Raising Questions About Physics, God
"She would have held."
Drew Curtis
The American Economy’s Silent Victim: The Common Criminal
Has the American economy suffered so much that even crime doesn't pay anymore?
Kevin Bartini
Bar Pleads For Return of Walrus Penis After Theft
Donkey's Place has got a bone to pick with the thieves.
Bram Teitelman
Expectant Father Drives Away in Ex’s Car While She’s in Labor
Claims he was getting a head start on abandoning his family.
Drew Curtis
Monkey, Drunk Guy Wreak Havoc on Music Stores
Marsupials and alcoholics just don't seem to have any respect for music stores these days.
Bram Teitelman
AI Police Report Turns Cop Into Frog
You’ve heard of AI Slop, now get ready for AI Hoppy Cop.
Bram Teitelman
Fishin’ Impossible: Criminals Pull off $400K Frozen Lobster Heist
They were on a seafood diet - they see food, they steal it.
Bram Teitelman
Lebanon County Man Claims To Be God Following High-Speed Chase, Divine Intervention
God works in mysterious ways... this was not one of the good ones
Drew Curtis
Five Geese-A-Missing… Some Fear the Delicious Worst Has Happened
If they find out that someone stole them, their goose is cooked, especially if they cooked the geese.
Bram Teitelman
Winter Plunderland: 3 Santas, 40 Elves Rob Grocery Store
And no, they didn't enter the store via its chimney, either.
Bram Teitelman
Woman Caught Stealing 26 Times and Wielding a Leg of Lamb Let off With a Warning
A justice system committed to personal growth through unlimited retries.
Drew Curtis
Instacart Begins Prison Deliveries?
Instacart's new program, InstaKeister, uses drones to airdrop orders into prisons. It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a felony!
Kevin Bartini
