Researchers at a Lab Named THC Confirm the Munchies Are Real
Beef jerky emerges as the unlikely valedictorian of Stoner Academy.
Drew Curtis
Swedish Salmon Found To Be on Cocaine, Which Explains a Lot
Researchers tracked 105 smolts, most of whom have now started a podcast.
Drew Curtis
Human Flatus Atlas Study Finds People Fart Twice as Much as Claimed
To the surprise of no one who’s ever met my father-in-law.
Drew Curtis
Malaysia: Work Stress Causes Homosexuality
Also Malaysia: We have no data backing up this assertion. And the study we cited doesn’t exist.
Drew Curtis
Researchers Investigate Whether AI Chatbots Cause Psychosis or Merely Validate It
Either way, the results are the same.
Drew Curtis
Scientists Discover Astronauts’ Brains Drift After Months in Space
Which explains why they all come back wanting to run for Senate.
Drew Curtis
“Like Viagra for Your Mitochondria” – Researchers Supercharge Aging Cells With Tiny Flowers
Science has officially upgraded cellular aging from “inevitable decline” to “deliverable-by-nanobot bouquet.”
Drew Curtis
Smelling Farts May Prevent Alzheimer’s
Your dog has been trying to save your life this whole time.
Drew Curtis
Study: People Are Nicer When Someone Nearby Is Dressed Like Batman
Apparently, all it takes for humans to act decently is a brooding billionaire in a cape.
Drew Curtis
96,000-Person Constipation Study Yields Obvious Conclusion
Groundbreaking news: vegetables still work and America is still surprised.
Drew Curtis
AI Studying Whale Songs Says It Thinks Whale Language Might Have Vowels
Where linguists hear “vowels,” skeptics hear “clicks,” and whales hear… absolutely none of this nonsense.
Drew Curtis
Scientists Prove Universe Is Not a Simulation
Using the exact kind of reasoning a simulation would use to hide that it's a simulation.
Drew Curtis
AI Mitigates Dunning-Kruger Effect, but Replaces It With Something Dumber
Researchers confirm: with AI, everyone’s above average. Especially the wrong people.
Drew Curtis
Researchers Promise “A Complete Map of the Sixth Sense”
Also hoping to find Haley Joel Osment’s career.
Drew Curtis
